Great is Thy Faithfulness

The time has come – oh my goodness just to type that is AMAZING!!! I will be leaving next Sunday to go pick up Esther!  Although it seems like the wait has been long and the time is coming to an end there is nothing more inaccurate about that statement.  Our time as Esther’s forever family is only just beginning.  We have been so blessed by so many people – many are complete strangers.  The generosity of those around us to help make this world have one less orphan is sometimes overwhelming to me.  I am a gift giver by nature and being on the receiving end is difficult for me.  God has used this process to refine me and humble me in a way I never thought possible (because we all know humility is my middle name)!  We have had tickets donated, money given by children, college students, families going through their own crisis with their children, donations from all around the world, vaccines will now be donated to help saves lives in Haiti, forever relationships have been formed, people have come to know the Lord, others have decided to foster or adopt all because we said YES to a little girl 1,818 miles away that we had never met but wanted to parent and give her a chance at life outside an institution in a third-world country.  All because we trusted the Lord 100% to provide and walked faithfully along this path even when it seemed impossible.  We told the Lord we would never do this and I am SO glad we went with Him instead of our selfish life plan.  It has not been easy and I am sure the hard part is yet to come but God is faithful and we trust that He has this the rest of the way – He wouldn’t ask us to do something and drop us in the middle of the process!  “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Heb. 11:6

First picture we received 

Our last picture we will receive 

All this being said I leave next Sunday and arrive in Haiti next Monday February 18^th then return home on Feb. 22^nd (we arrive in the states on my birthday – NO better gift)!  If you are in the D/FW area and want to welcome us at the airport we would LOVE for you to meet us at 6:50pm American Airlines baggage claim.  That will be the only time we will have Esther out for a while. You have all supported us this far but NOW is when we are really going to need you. Adopting an institutionalized child is difficult and adding her to a family with two other adopted children is going to be challenge.  We would love your prayers and support and encouragement for many years to come! 

 Attachment will be what we are focusing on with Esther and I want to share some insights with you of how we will be handling this so you don’t think we are weird or crazy it is just what we feel we need to do for our family and we hope you respect our decision.

With attachment being key to her transition we will be trying to connect with her on  a level that will help her trust us and know that her parents  love her and are trustworthy.  I will be “wearing” her as much as possible and so much of what I am asking you to do is counter intuitive to how we treat each other’s kids in our culture. But trust me – this is the best way you can show love to Esther right now. When she arrives the new environment will be overwhelming and she has a significant hearing loss so this will make things more difficult for her little brain.  Everything around her will be new and over stimulation will happen quickly.  The best way for us to attach with her is for us to be the ones to hold her, feed her, comfort her etc.  We will be mimicking the newborn parent/child relationship.  Once we see this working we will allow her to branch out slowly to other healthy relationships.   Please know we have not come by this decision lightly but it is what is NECESSARY for the healing of her brain and her attachment to our family.  Here are some ways you can help us through this transition and help her have healthy boundaries and attachment:

1. Holding, hugging or kissing her (after the airport visit) will be VERY limited.  Children from orphanages are prone to attach too easily and that is not healthy.  You can wave, blow kisses, give high five or fist pound all perfectly acceptable ways to show affection– just redirect her to mommy or daddy if she tries to reach for you, climb into your lap etc.  (We realize this is goes against everything you want to do
2. You just really want to help but not sure now that you can’t hold her or help with her needs how could you help us? You could bring us a meal or take the other kids out for ice cream or do laundry or run errands OR bring me Starbucks mid-day (Lord knows I will need it).  I will go stir crazy quickly and will need adult interaction-(just don’t judge my house or my hygiene).
3. Show equal attention to the other little ones in the house – they will be struggling through this process, as well.  They need to know they are important and loved by everyone around them.  It’s not like bringing in a newborn home and letting them ease into the transition it is bringing in a sibling close to their age that looks like them but takes ALL their mommies time and remember they too have healing little brains from trauma and abandonment.
4. Giving us advise on sleeping arrangements, “cocooning”, church, hair care etc. is welcome only if you have ever adopted before
5. Eden is having surgery 2 weeks after we return home so ANY help you are willing to give is appreciated!  Working through Madison on specifics like airport parties, meals, sending me massage therapists or margarita machines etc. will be the best way to help!

Your willingness to help us is awesome! We are blessed and we know you may think this is not natural and little weird and that you don’t have to follow the rules but PLEASE make it easier for us by helping us how we are asking you and trust we are doing what we feel is best for our family. Adoption is not all pony rides and sunshine and this is going to be hard but we are ready for the journey to begin!

 “Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.” Jeremiah 32:17

Blessings!

Tiffany – mommy of 5!